So today I want to share about my experiences about recognizing and then talking to that negative criticism in your own mind.
I remember one day last week waking up and the first thought, the very first thought I had was “Woah, you’re fat.” And then literally, the rest of my day I felt the weight of that comment (which was yes, from myself). And it is absolutely crazy and also not okay. Would you spend time with someone who, the minute you woke up, said “hey you’re fat.” No, I would not return that person’s phone calls or text messages. What about someone you had to spend the rest of your life with? Like your partner or spouse. What if you wake up and open your eyes and the first thing they say is something negative about your appearance, character, or something random. Divorce that person immediately. Divorce that part of your mind who is constantly putting you down. It’s time to have a divorce and never look back.
1. Stop Criticizing Yourself
Just stop. Who needs that. You made a mistake. You made a HUGE mistake. Guess what, we all did. Your mom did, your grandpa did, I did, that guy over there made 5 mistakes before he even had breakfast. Just stop all criticism. And don’t do that thing where you keep second guessing yourself as you’re already doing it. If you’ve already decided to do something just do it and help yourself through it, instead of saying ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE NOW.” It’s such a stressful way to live, and besides you’re already on your way. Instead, give yourself a pat on the back for being courageous and taking initiative.
2. Be More Open to the Positive
You know those advertisements of BEAUTIFUL sun-tanned, air-brushed, tall models towering over you everywhere (especially in Los Angeles). Those advertisements sometimes can be negative in the sense they are supposed to point out what viewers lack and apparently need. But then, there are also some positive and real messages out there you might need to start recognizing. As little as they are, they can be the big ones. I absentmindedly passed the bathroom sign at an Italian restaurant yesterday and then doubled back to it and the door said “bella“. The bathroom sign told me I was beautiful yesterday. Does your grandma think you’re a handsome guy? Remember the nice things people wrote to you in cards or yearbooks? They still apply, be open the the positive. It’s hidden but it is so there.
3. Say Shut Up
Sometimes, you just have to do it. Say SHUT UP when the negative voice is trying to make an appearance, especially at the beginning of the day. Why? Just because the negative voice has NO place in your life. None whatsoever. It’s like a weed in your garden. If you don’t pull it up right then and there, it will spread and your garden will just be a square of weeds. You can’t afford not to! So curse at it. Scare it. Freak it out. Just make sure it doesn’t come back.