When Sadness Hits You…

Recently, I’ve been crying the way a person has to sneeze when they have allergies. It’s always there, right below the surface threatening to erupt into a case of ugly crying at the most inconvenient times. At the grocery store I get a lump in my throat, and then I frantically try to escape to my car where I can cry and (wail). When the song “Wherever You Go” by Richard Marx comes on the radio, I become a puddle of emotions. If my family merely says hello with the slightest intonation of being upset I dissolve into tears.

Also, for the record, this is very unlike me. While everyone else in the theater was either quietly sniffling or sobbing, I was the only dry eye while watching The Fault in Our Stars. I am uncomfortably unemotional. I cry only once or twice a year. This week I’ve cried at least 5 times. I am sad. For a couple of very legitimate reasons. Losing people, or the fear of losing people has gripped my heart for decades. When it happens I suppose it is normal to unravel as I have been doing this past week.

The reason I’m blogging about sadness on my happiness blog is that it’s OK, more than OK, to be sad sometimes. I would be delusional to say HAPPINESS SHOULD BE AT ALL TIMES AND SADNESS SHOULD NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD. My friend told me to sit with the sadness, to find joy and beauty in it. And I did. It felt good to release it. But also, trying to be more outward thinking really shifts the emotions. It was my birthday last week and one of my best friends gave me INSTANT HAPPY Post-It Notes that can be purchased at Francesca’s or at this link: http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Happy-Notes-Sticky-Surprises/dp/1402238266. You know what gave me the most joy from the post-it notes? Sticking them under random car’s windshields. The feeling of knowing that someone will walk up to their car and think that someone thought of them. The feeling that someone else’s day will be brightened.

When sadness hits you, hit back! It’s so lovely to have pity parties once in a while. It feels great and amazing to rock yourself back and forth and repeat to yourself “Why me, why is this happening?” But every party has to end. When you’re done with all of the self-pity and crying, try and think of how you can make others, who have gone through the same exact thing at one point in their lives, a little happier.

“If you enjoy being miserable and insecure, focus on yourself. It’s impossible to be miserable when you’re focused on others.” – Pete Sapper



  1. I didn’t shed a tear in the fault in our stars either and the fact that 99% off the cinema was sobbing, and I sat there thinking why am I not crying. . I felt like a terrible person which is ridiculous as i bet the guys in the audience weren’t beating themselves up about it!

  2. I didn’t shed a tear either in the fault in our stars and felt like a terrible person because 99% off people were crying! But then I realised that it was kind of ridiculous to feel bad because I bet the few guys in the cinema who weren’t crying weren’t feeling bad for not crying!

  3. Be patient and tough. One day, this pain will be useful to you 🙂

    On a separate note, they usually don’t play “Wherever You Go” on the radio don’t they?

  4. Amber,
    Isn’t that silly? I was more upset of the fact that I wasn’t crying and everyone else was rather than being upset at the movie! I can’t wait until you visit California and we have tea and life talks together. I really love you!

    They do not play it usually. That’s why when it comes on I’m like REALLY? But I sit and listen and sort of enjoy being taken over by emotion. Sometimes it’s really nice. I agree with you, this pain will be useful in the future. Thanks.

  5. Pingback: The Bright Side of Breaking Up | moment of happiness

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