Have you ever received a compliment that you would LOVE to graciously accept and write it in the sky with an airplane and/or have it tattooed it on your foot it was that good of a compliment. But when it came down to it you’ve subconsciously rejected it before it was even able to enter in your mind. You didn’t even give it a chance.
We set up barriers to protect ourselves from getting hurt. But sometimes they can reject and block actually the most helpful of words from getting to our heart.
I just had sushi with my mom and the waitress said to my mom, “By the way she’s so pretty!” And my mom laughed and smiled and said “Thank you!” By this point we were substantially tipsy on white wine and I really looked at her and said that was the first time you said thank you when someone said that to you. Before it was always “Oh, no she’s not really.” Before they even finished the sentence.
I loved that about my Mom. She was always focused on matters of the heart rather than outward beauty and she said ‘No’ to reinforce that it didn’t matter if I was pretty or not. But I was just surprised at that moment.
Growing up with that mentality was a life within a complex cat’s cradle. You were bragging but you would insult yourself. You put yourself lower in order to be put higher. It comes to a certain point where it’s hard to see yourself in a light that others may see in you. We are also so busy receiving the criticism. We were ten minutes late, how dare we be so irresponsible! It’s easy to receive that word “irresponsible”. Can it be that it is easier to receive the negative words about us rather than the positive?
Who has heard of #thedress debate. White and gold or black and blue was the most random and seemingly meaningless internet debate I have ever heard of. But when it comes to how you perceive yourself, could there be a connection?
Perhaps you see yourself as black and blue, when others see you as white and gold? But when someone tells you that no you are clearly white and gold you are unable to see what they are talking about? And you become fervent in your response to what the true colors are.
I had the happy experience of this happening when I made a small comment and a friend replied, “You are like the most strongest independent woman. I don’t know, but you remind me of that woman.”
“What do you mean…‘that woman’”
“You know, the kind of woman that is happy with who she is, doesn’t need a man to feel beautiful cause she knows she can take on the world with just herself.”
I nearly spit out my drink. And then I quickly typed the whole thing up on my Iphone. That was something I wanted to remember.
My best friend has been self conscious about her skin and breakouts and acne for as long as I can remember. She told me that she was shopping with absolutely no make up on and someone complimented her on her skin and said it was beautiful. She had the same reaction as me. The ‘Are you Seeing what I’m Seeing’ reaction. The ‘this dress is clearly white and gold’ reaction. I think this could be a huge wake-up call to waking up to the possibilities that lie beyond your self-perception of your image and body. Start receiving the good. There is an abundant amount of good for you and you alone to absorb if you start practicing receiving the greatness that is offered to you on a daily basis.