The other day my dad, in response to a question I asked him, said, “Oh, do you feel like you have to keep up with Kim?”
I was like, “Dad, you mean keeping up with the Kardashians?”
He said, “No, Jean Kim. Your best friend, you know she’s getting married.”
Jean, my beautiful 25 year old best friend is getting married in 2016! That is absolutely insane but in a good way. I’m so happy for her! Her and her fiancee are the absolute couple, the details I’ll save for my MOH speech. But the fact that my dad knew I was thinking about keeping up with the timing of my best friend & peers is what I want to touch upon.
I don’t know what the average age is of people are getting married now. I don’t know what the average length of people staying at their jobs is. I don’t know if it’s better to follow passion or a paycheck. It is all very personal and very unique to each individual pursuing their own version of happiness and satisfaction. I do know though that is so easy to look around and see what everyone else is doing and it can cause us to sometimes operate from a place of “what’s wrong with me? (WWWM)”
It’s the adult form of peer pressure. For example, if everyone around you is getting married, thoughts of “What’s wrong with me that I’m so single” come and then you start to ask your grandma if she knows any single boys in Southern California. It could be anything, there are several triggers in daily life that you must be aware of. I remember my commute to work one morning I was listening to Kevin & Bean on KROQ. The topic was about living at home. Kevin & Bean were not very nice about the people who shared that they were living at home. They proudly boasted that they were making it out on their own in their twenties and that it was hard times but they made it. I laughed and like that boy in the youtube video on his first day of school my laugh turned into a sob.
As someone who was living at home, I was slightly embarrassed. I felt like they were talking about me and I was starting to get those WWWM thoughts. But the truth is, nothing is wrong with me. I wouldn’t trade these moments of living at home for a nice private studio on Laguna Beach. My favorite part of my day is when I open the garage and see my yellow labrador run up to me and give me kisses and strut in circles around me. I love watching Fresh Off the Boat on Tuesdays as a family. Just yesterday, I cried with laughter when my mom and I put on facial masks and scared my dad. But let me tell you, the day I put my car in park at work after listening to Kevin & Bean I was very close to having a stranger craigslist roommate the very same night. Kevin and Bean do not know me, they were not talking about me, but their conversation affected me personally and I almost changed a big part of my life because of the minute and a half they had of my time.
The purpose of this post is to be mindful of all the things in this world that are inadvertently pointing at “what’s wrong with you” and to shut it down quick. Nothing is wrong with you. Paths look different. Journeys are unique and not one size fits all. You know who you are and what you love and what you’re about. Don’t rush into marriage, don’t rush into signing a lease, don’t rush into anything because you think that’s what you SHOULD be doing.
One of my all time, most favorite things my dad has said to me EVER is this: “You don’t do something because other people think it’s the right thing to do. You do things because you think it’s the right thing to do.”
You are exactly where you need to be. And nothing, NOTHING is wrong with you.